#i suppose technically that would be teaching but I don't want to have to deal with PEOPLE or HOMEWORK either so... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spaceisout · 2 years ago

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𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 // 𝙠𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙖𝙢𝙞

Pairing: Keigo Takami x F!Reader

Words: 2.221

Summary: being married young was never in either of your plans, more or less being married to a hero and a quirkless human. still, it made an interesting switch to your lives, one you might not regret.

Warning(s): angst, fluff,

A/n: I apologize for the delayed update, my week became a lot more busier than I had expected. Also taglist is available to anyone who would like to be updated. Any donations are appreciated it is a way I can help contribute to pay bills while I'm able to get a job <3

Links: donate to the author, masterlist (coming soon), current series list

Taglist: @alligator-person @bakugosgirl01 @deathkat657 @justanerd1 @multilingual-birb @urdecentartist09 @abbylouamanda @keigo-hawks-takami-simp

(if there is anyone I missed on the list pls let me know, enjoy! <3)

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5 ◁ II ▷ 7

"Can you fly me around with your ice?!" a child exclaimed looking up at the bi-colored hero with excitement.

"Uum... ice is technically to hard to fly around with." He explained with crossed arms, "But I can transport you to places...almost like a car I guess?"

"Why the hell are we even here for?!" The blonde yelled looking annoyed with the amount of weird questions that he kept on getting.

"Come on, Kaachan." His friend calmly said, "You said you wanted to tag along too remember?"

"Y-yeah to teach them about being a hero," Kaachan explained. "N-not to deal with weird kids who won't even listen a word I f-"

"Language, Bakugo." Best Jeanist interrupted him. "Remember we are an example for these future heroes."

He looked away, grumbling under his breath.

"Then why is feathers, flirting with the teachers?" He questioned pointing at Hawks, "I thought we were supposed to talk with the kids!"

Best Jeanist followed his pointing finger and saw Hawks talking with you. He sighed, knowing this was going to happen eventually but thought it would take longer than five minutes.

"Make sure to keep an eye on the students." He said talking to Endeavor and walked over to your group.

"I gotta say I'm amazed at how high the kids spirits are." Keigo said looking at you. "Nowadays it is difficult to make sure they don't lose hope just because they're not like everyone else."

You knew he meant those words sincerely, especially since the cases of bullying have risen recently.

"I honestly at times can't protect them from feeling like an outsider in a world where they belong." You explained looking at them as they surrounded the dirty blonde with happiness. "I want to do all I can to make sure their confidence isn't broken when they go to junior high. They deserve to feel like heroes in their own lives whether they have quirks or not."

"Our colleagues and friends have focused on making sure their worth isn't justified by the family their born into or the quirk their relatives might have that they don't." Mio added, "We want them to live like the kids they are."

"Whether they decide to go into a field of public service or pursue a career of what they're passionate about we don't want them to forget their worth." Hizashi spoke up, "They're just as important as heroes."

Keigo saw the look of endearment and passion in your eyes. It was visibly shown to anyone who looked your way, how much you care about them. Now he understands why you stayed up most nights when he visited your family, you were preparing lesson plans even on your days off.

"Hawks!"

He jumped back in surprise seeing Best Jeanist standing in front of him. Keigo composed himself and gave him a dazzling smile making Mio swoon over him.

"Hey buddy! How are the kids treating you?"

"You are supposed to be with them as well, they've been asking about you." He said.

"I just came over here for a minute to talk with some of their teachers." Keigo explained, "Let me introduce you to Mio Takahashi, Rio Hizashi, and last but not least (first name) (last name)."

"It's very nice to meet you." Best Jeanist said shaking each of your hands.

"No, the pleasure is all ours." You said as Mio and Hizashi nodded. "I'm very happy to see everyone took some time to come and visit our students during their sports festival. We really appreciate it, it means a lot to them to see you guys."

"Hawks called us over as soon as he got the call from the principle." He explained, "We did not hesitate to agree, we wanted to come and meet them."

You knew he was such a humble hero but your respect for him went far above and beyond.

"Ah, Mr. Hawks! Mr. Best Jeanist!" The principle yelled out. "Our next event is about to start soon, we would love for you to participate with our students."

"Of course we would be honored to help out the little heroes!" Keigo exclaimed.

"Thank you!" She smiled, "The next event will be a tug of war between all classes. You can go ahead and choose a class as well as your students, we would love it if they joined in too."

"I'll go and let them know." Best Jeanist said.

"Do you mind if I tag along too?"

"Not at all."

It was plainly obvious that the principle had a crush on him, or really admired him.

"Mrs. Kimura is a big, fan huh?" Keigo said.

"That goes without saying." You chuckled lightly.

"Oh, (name) do you have the number tags?" Hizashi asked.

"Right, I forgot to bring them out." You sigh, "I'll go get them."

"Is it alright if I tag along?" Keigo asked looking at you sweetly.

"I can go-" Hizashi was about to say but you shook your head.

"It's alright. It shouldn't take me too long."

"I insist, plus I kinda wanna see the school from the inside too." Keigo insisted.

Looking in between them it was hard to choose, still Keigo decided to come and visit you at your work place.

"Okay," you said earning a smile from him. "You did take some time to come see the students so I'll give you a tour then."

"Awesome!"

You looked at Hizashi, "We'll be back in a bit."

He nodded and you two walked off by yourselves towards your classroom. As soon as you got some more distance and were sure there was no one else you spoke up.

"How come you did not tell me that you were coming?"

Keigo stopped, you mirrored his movement, to look at you.

"I wanted it to be a surprise." He explained, "I've seen the way you work yourself out for them." His hands rested on your shoulders, slowly they went down your arms, giving your body goosebumps, and stopped on both your wrists. "I wanted to meet the students that stole my wife's heart."

"I'm just- I'm still surprised that you're here, Keigo." You softly spoke, "It feels somewhat normal... like you came to visit on a random day..." There was a bit of hesitation on the last words you wanted to say to him.

A smile formed on his face as he used one of his hands to reach up and hold your cheek.

"Like a husband does?" He said, "Visiting his wife at her work place?"

Your lips parted, "Well-"

"I admit it I did not know if it was a good idea to come considering how things have been. But... when I heard it was the name of the same school you were working at I did not want to waste any time and automatically said yes without thinking."

Keigo was... interested in my school, because of me?

"I only heard a few stories about this place." He continued looking around at the colored walls that separates each classroom from the last. His eyes then landed on yours, his smile not faltering. "I wanted to visit the place that holds a special place in your heart... in hopes to learn more about you."

"K-keigo..."

With every person you had ever known, they never managed to make you feel like he does. Given that you have only known him for less than four months, it blows you away. Keigo was different, in your eyes.

"You have no idea how much it means to me that you're here." You confessed, "My parents are far too busy and far away to come see where I work. Himiko... well things are difficult with her at the moment. I wanted to share my everyday life with someone, to tell them about the shenanigans or activities my students did. Now that I got married to you and I have been able to tell you about it all , it's made my life a whole lot better than I ever realized."

Keigo's heart started to pick up a different type of rhythm.

"Keigo I-!" your eyes widened for a moment then they faltered, making his smile disappear.

"Tell me what you're thinking, (name)."

Biting your lip you tried to figure out if what you wanted to say would affect him in some way. Right now you felt blessed to have someone like him in your life. Keigo became another piece to your whole puzzle. A piece you weren't sure yet about how important his part has played a role.

"Whatever it might be," he gently tilted your head back to meet your eyes. "You can tell me."

Your eyes started to get covered with a transparent liquid, making it quite blurry to see.

"I did not realize how much you would change my life..." You blinked the tears letting them roll down your cheek but as always he was there to prevent them from hitting the ground. "I mean I know I-I sometimes over phrase everything and think it but don't say it. Up until now I watched the little things you have done for me even since before we ever got married."

As you spoke, our brain started to replay all those moments.

"You never hesitated to get closer to me even when I was too shy to speak. Anyone else would have given up but you didn't. I don't know if since then I felt safe to be with you but as time passes by and we spend time together... you're someone I do not ever want leaving my side."

"I'm starting to realize the same thing," On instinct he leaned his head down closer trying to close the gap between you both. "Everyday you are making me the happiest person than I ever was. You are molding me into someone better, and I want you to know that you are the reason because of this."

"Keigo..." you breathed out feeling tears slipping faster.

His eyes travelled down from your (color lips) lips to your eyes hoping to get a sign or a one word answer to his silent plea.

Little by little you felt yourselves gravitating to towards one another, closing the gap between you both. Your eyes not breaking away from one another. Slowly, leaning in giving the other enough time to pull away in case there was regret.

What seemed like inches away suddenly became just a centimeter between you both. Without any sign of hesitation, your lips finally met in the middle.

Eyes widening with surprise knowing well this was what you both wanted.

Keigo's eyes closed first as he started to lose himself in your lips. His hands holding both your cheeks, feeling him pulling you closer to him, wanting to get as close as possible.

Your body suddenly started to feel lighter. The weight you once felt on every limb suddenly disappeared. You were too shocked to close your eyes until you felt the way his lips moved in sync with your own.

Slowly they began to close, your hands moving to rest on each side of his waist. You started to sense the way your body was feeling against his.

As cliche as it sounds, it truly did feel like both your hearts were connected in that moment.

In his whole life he had vowed to never get romantically involved. All he wanted and focused on was protecting his mom from his villain father. He needed for her to feel safe in this world, without any fear of a villain attacking her.

But his view then changed once he met you. All of a sudden his world didn't seem so closed off. You became part of his life despite knowing everything about him, even then, you stayed. You opened up to him about things he never thought about.

And just like that, he grew accustomed to your routine of waking up, making breakfast, dinner, or waiting up for one another to make it back home safe and sound. It was a ritual, no, a rhythm he wanted to continue feeling for as long as you'd allow him to.

With flushed faces you both parted your lips, but your hold stayed still on one another.

"T-that... um." Keigo chuckled lightly suddenly feeling shy.

But you were in the same boat, "Y-yeah."

Both of you then erupted into soft laughter, you did not quite understood if it was the rush of how amazing it felt kissing one another or the fact that you were embarrassed to look at each other after such an intimate kiss.

Still, you looked at each other with happy filled dazed faces.

"(n-name)?"

The color drained from each other's faces as you heard a familiar voice calling out to you.

"Did you just-" they shook their head not even wanting to finish the sentence. "You didn't really... kiss Hawks, right?..."

Keigo held your hand tightly, intertwining his fingers with your own in a protective gesture.

"Mio..." Your close friend wasn't alone, "Hizashi..."

"What is going on?..." Hizashi questioned not bothering to look at Keigo.

"Listen... I swear that there's a good reason-"

"What reason is there for him to kiss you like that?!" He yelled.

Keigo stepped forward, "Let's not start yelling okay? We can talk it out like the adults we are-"

"I wasn't talking to you." Hizashi retorted, "For all I know you're just using her."

"Hizashi, Mio..." You sighed looking at them both. "I'm sorry I did not tell you the truth... but the person I married his Hawks."

"What?..."

"B-but you said he was a regular person!" Mio exclaimed.

"I'm sorry for deceiving you... I had to make up a fake husband in order to keep my real marriage a secret." You explained, "I had no other choice... we did not want to risk anything bad happening."

"Like what?" Mio asked not fully understanding anything that's going on. "What bad thing could possibly happen?"

"Listen, there's still some villains who are trying to settle the score with me." Keigo said, "The battle may be over but there's no telling when they might attack. I did not want to put (name) in harm's way."

"The why did you even ask her to marry you if this marriage was going to be a secret?"

"He didn't ask me to marry him." You said, "I was the one who asked him in exchange for a favor he was doing for my parents."

"You-"

"There you guys are!" The principle smiled as she approached you, "Miss (Last Name) did you find those number tags that we need?"

"Y-yeah! I apologize I got side tracked with showing Hawks around the school." You awkwardly chuckled.

"No worries, I understand. But please make sure to hurry the parents have been waiting along with the heroes."

"I will!" You exclaimed trying to smile as she looked at you before walking away. Once she was gone you turned to look at both your friends. "I know there's a lot of questions you both must have and I want to answer them."

"(name)'s right, you both are close to her and deserve to know the truth." Keigo said, "Why don't you two come by our house after the event is over with? We can explain it there more calmly."

Hizashi looked at Mio, and she looked back at him. There was uncertainty in each other's eyes, not knowing if there was any explanation to this situation.

"Okay." Mio said, "We'll come by after school after all this event is for the students and I don't want to ruin it for them."

Hizashi agree. "She's right, it is best if we talk somewhere private."

You nodded feeling a small relief that they'd be willing to hear you out. "Thank you."

"Alright is everyone ready?!" You spoke into the microphone, looking out at the scene in front of you.

"We're not losing!" Bakugo yelled feeling determined to win. "You guys better be pulling your weight too!"

"We are not about to let them win!" Sato exclaimed, "We're going to easily win this round."

"That's what I'm talking about!"

Midoriya started to feel a bit nervous now, "He sure does know how to get them excited it seems."

"Mr. Deku?" Suzuki spoke tugging at his sleeve. "Do you... think we're going to win?..."

Midoriya smiled, "Well they're good opponents I won't lie, but that doesn't mean we're going to lose without a fight right?"

"R-right!"

"On my mark," you said. "Ready?... Pull!"

"Start pulling!" Bakugo yelled.

"We can do this!" Midoriya retorted looking straight ahead as he pulled with all the strength he had.

"You're going down nerd!" He smirked gritting his teeth as he tugged at the long rope.

"I gotta say, they're an interesting group." You chuckled.

"I apologize for his sudden outbursts," Best Jeanist spoke. "He's a very explosive hero."

You shook your head, "Not at all. I understand, it's passion. If I had a quirk as well I'd probably be the same way as him."

"Does the principle not hire anyone who has a quirk?"

"Initially that was her plan but lately since more and more people are being born with quirks they usually take the route of becoming a hero." You explained, "These students might be the last ones to come here."

"What do you mean?"

Turning to look at him you continued, "A lot of more schools are being built and are being equipped with qualified teachers to help control their quirks. This school was built for people like us. We're normal teachers, so it won't be so surprising if they decide to tear this school down in the future."

"But there's still students who need teachers like you to guide them into the right path, whether they have a quirk or not."

A small smile formed on your lips, "I still have the thought o continuing to teach even if this school won't be here anymore. But it's hard to find a way to land a job at times."

"I promise we're going to try and figure something out." He said resting his hand on your shoulder. "This school has a great group of teachers, that need to continuing teaching."

"Thank you, Best Jeanist." You said, "It means a lot to have a heroes support for us regular folks."

"Hey!"

You jumped back in surprise.

Bakugo yelled looking a you, "Aren't you going to announce the winner?!"

"R-right, sorry about that!" You yelled back and picked up the microphone. "The winner is team Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight!"

Best Jeanist even clapped for him, making him smile wider in victory. The students then surrounded him, Sato ended up being carried and placed on his shoulder for the photo.

"Sorry, we couldn't win." Midoriya apologized.

You spoke walking over to them, "Don't. Everyone put in their effort and I can tell they had fun."

"Miss (last name)!" Suzuki yelled, as he rushed over to hug you.

"You guys did a great job." You wrapped your arm him, smiling softly. "I saw how strong you were pulling, Suzuki."

He shyly smiled, "I-I was able to do it... b-because of Mr. Deku's help. H-he helped me, by encouraging me."

"Thank you for lifting up his spirits. Suzuki tends to be a bit shy sometimes." You said looking at him, "I'm happy he got the chance to be on your team."

"Oh it was nothing." Midoriya smiled with a tilted head. "I'm happy they had fun even though we did not get to win."

"You were amazing!" Suzuki yelled pulling away from you and hugging him instead. "You're an amazing hero, Mr. Deku."

Midoriya's eyes lit up, his hold then tightened as he held Suzuki in his arms.

You decided to walk over to the rest of your students to congratulate them as well.

"Miss (last name)! Did you see me?!" Sato exclaimed. "Did you see how much I was pulling the rope?!"

"I did!" Crouching down in front of her you continued, "You guys did a great job pulling on that rope."

"It was all because I told them how to properly pull." Bakugo spoke with crossed arms in front of his chest.

"He did! Did you know it's best to lean back and plant your feet on the ground?!" She yelled with amazement. "It worked so cool!"

"I did not know that." You looked up at him, "You're quite an impressive hero Mr. Great Murder Explosion God Dynamight."

Bakugo's cheeks turned a light red, "O-of course I am!"

As the events progressed from last rounds of tug of war to the bigger obstacle course between heroes, your mind got distracted.

There was an anxious feeling in your chest, as the sports festival was starting to come to a close. You kept thinking about how your two close friend's would react to knowing the truth about it all.

All you could do was pray and hope that they would stay by your side to support you.

"Everything okay?" Keigo asked as he helped fold up the tables.

"Y-yeah..."

He placed the last table down next to the wall, "(name), I can tell something is on your mind."

"I'm just a bit worried about talking with them is all."

"Hey, everything is going to be fine." Keigo softly, reaching over to your hand to hold it for a second before pulling away. "They're your close friends, they care about you. So I'm sure they'll understand."

You nodded, "You're right... Hizashi and Mio will understand."

Keigo gave you a soft smile and looked both ways before he leaned down and pecked your lips.

"Keigo... s-someome could see us."

"Why do you think I did it quickly?" He teased, making you chuckle.

"Mr. Hawks!" You both looked to the side to see some of your students rushing over to him.

"Hey! What are you kiddos still doing here?"

"You're going to come back and visit right?!" Your youngest Sakura asked.

"Yeah you have to!" Hinata yelled, "You need to come back and see us!"

"Well I certainly hope so." Keigo answered ruffling his hair, "I would love to come back and visit you guys."

"Next time you'll take us somewhere to fly right?" Seiyo asked.

"Guys," you interrupted. "He may have a lot of feathers but he doesn't have enough to take you. He's a hero after all, he's going to them too."

"Awe!" Hinata whined, "Then can you make sure to tell him to come again next week, Miss (last name)?!"

"Yeah, will you ever invite me again Miss (last name)?" Keigo tagged along and even made puppy dog eyes.

He did look quite adorable.

"If it was for me I'd be happy to bring him back again to visit but it isn't up to me." You said, hearing their disappointment sighs. "But I will try and ask the principle."

"Yay!" Your students yelled.

"Now it's time to go home, okay?" You said seeing their parents waiting by the gate. "Your parents are waiting for you guys."

They nodded and bid Keigo goodbye, a smile rested on his face as he watched your students running, enjoying themselves without worry.

"They're an interesting group of kids," he said and turned to look at you. "They're going to go far someday."

"I hope I can continue to lead them down the right path."

"You will, they are lucky to have a teacher like you. I wished I had one exactly like you when I was a kid."

"Well if you ever need a teacher, I'm here." you chuckled lightly.

Keigo pulled you into a tight hug, not caring about anyone seeing you two. All he wanted was to hold you close and you weren't going to deny that a hug from him is what you needed the most.

#― <3 secret world (keigo takami)#keigo takami #keigo takami x reader #bnha hawks #mha hawks #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha angst #bnha fluff #bnha masterlist #bnha fanfiction #mha angst #mha fluff #mha fandom #mha fanfiction #mha masterlist #send in asks #send in anons #thank you for reading!

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givehimthemedicine · 2 years ago

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BRENNER WTF IS YOUR DEAL

before the circle game Brenner warns the kids "if you allow anger or emotion to invade your thoughts, you will fail. I promise." not you'll be disqualified, but you'll fail. he's addressing all the kids, but he says it extremely pointedly to El, because he's already suspicious Henry has coached her.

Brenner knows emotion would work, and clearly the first place his mind went when he saw Henry and El together was that Henry might have taught her to use that tactic.

Brenner must want the kids trained to use their powers in an entirely sterile and robotic and controllable way. he must have learned from Henry years ago that emotion-driven powers makes them too uncontrollable so he doesn't want the other kids to know that's even a thing. that's why he says it won't work instead of don't do it.

but El does exactly that, and it works, and Brenner absolutely saw what happened. his "it looks like we have a new winner" is definitely displeased and begrudging, and he hauls Henry off to be zapped immediately after this because he knows what he did. meanwhile El's win is not only honored but she gets her reward (time in the rainbow room).

why wouldn't Brenner also discipline El?

ps notice that camera pointed through the one way mirror - is Brenner filming Henry being tased or is it just sitting there from a prior experiment? also the sign on this door says "test room 1" lol

I know Brenner didn't technically say "don't do this," but at the heart of it, El still disobeyed him. isn't not only defying his instructions in front of the kids, but giving them all the idea that emotions do work, a REALLY bad offense, one he would want to harshly stamp out? strict discipline and fear of authority is Brenner's only real tool for keeping in line a room full of kids who could all kill him with their minds if they felt like it. why did he just let this go - in fact, reward El - instead of making an example of her?

and why does Brenner seem caught off guard by this considering it's very likely happened before, resulting in an escape??

Kali's angry-memory-training method is too similar to Henry's for her not to have been coached. Kali might not be as empathetic as El but I could see at least a couple reasons Henry might bond with her in particular (having similar powers, and both having been kidnapped as kids, depending how much their memories have been tampered with)

but anyway, it makes no sense for Henry to be an orderly if Brenner's motives are what they seem.

if the risk of Henry influencing the kids is so great, why on earth allow him access? why not keep him isolated? what does Brenner gain from Henry's proximity to the kids, or theirs to him, if he's not supposed to teach them anything?

why does Henry go along with the orderly lie for like 15+ years? either the few next-oldest kids never knew him as One, or they did but had their memories tampered with. they would've been of useful ages a decade before the massacre, couldn't he have manipulated one of them into removing soteria?

is he forbidden to have solo interactions with the kids like he did with El at the plinko board? Brenner looks immediately concerned when he sees them sitting side by side. is that the first time Brenner's ever seen that happen? (seems not, given his accurate suspicions)

if Henry's not supposed to interact with the kids, why is he not actually prevented from doing so? he gets zapped for it and then goes right back and does it again! he plays one-on-one chess with El and has a whole ass secret conversation and passes her something under the table! He gives El a specific warning at the start of it to act normal, but she acts very suspicious, and not only does El LOOK RIGHT AT THE CAMERA but so does Henry! does he think it's being monitored or not?

this is either a series of bafflingly careless and inconsistent moves on Brenner's part, or this is being permitted. but he really does look pissed about the circle game, and I can't figure out what he stands to gain from letting Henry influence the kids (but while pretending that isn't what he wants). surely an escape and/or death of his test subjects is not a desirable outcome, nor is Henry turning the kids against him (that's the #1 thing I'd be paranoid of, in Brenner's position).

I'm basically certain that some of NINA is a fabrication and/or a misleadingly incomplete cherrypicking of memories. I just can't decide exactly how far it goes or who's fooling who in which parts

#henry creel #martin brenner #hawkins lab #can Will get NINA'd by snooping in Henry's mind and seeing his memories of season 1 #mine #analysis #I don't think El is just Brenner's favorite as of 1979 is she #obv after the massacre she becomes more special to him as A) the most powerful kid and B) the only one left #and we saw the lab guy zap Kali when she was El's 79 age if not younger so he isn't just gentler with the littler kids

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itsawritblr · 6 months ago

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Things I Can Say About MFA Writing Programs Now That I No Longer Teach in One.

by Ryan Boudinot.

I recently left a teaching position in a master of fine arts creative-writing program. I had a handful of students whose work changed my life. The vast majority of my students were hardworking, thoughtful people devoted to improving their craft despite having nothing interesting to express and no interesting way to express it. My hope for them was that they would become better readers. And then there were students whose work was so awful that it literally put me to sleep. Here are some things I learned from these experiences.

Writers are born with talent.

Either you have a propensity for creative expression or you don't. Some people have more talent than others. That's not to say that someone with minimal talent can't work her ass off and maximize it and write something great, or that a writer born with great talent can't squander it. It's simply that writers are not all born equal. The MFA student who is the Real Deal is exceedingly rare, and nothing excites a faculty adviser more than discovering one. I can count my Real Deal students on one hand, with fingers to spare.

If you didn't decide to take writing seriously by the time you were a teenager, you're probably not going to make it.

There are notable exceptions to this rule, Haruki Murakami being one. But for most people, deciding to begin pursuing creative writing in one's 30s or 40s is probably too late. Being a writer means developing a lifelong intimacy with language. You have to be crazy about books as a kid to establish the neural architecture required to write one.

If you complain about not having time to write, please do us both a favor and drop out.

I went to a low-residency MFA program and, years later, taught at a low-residency MFA program. "Low-residency" basically means I met with my students two weeks out of the year and spent the rest of the semester critiquing their work by mail. My experience tells me this: Students who ask a lot of questions about time management, blow deadlines, and whine about how complicated their lives are should just give up and do something else. Their complaints are an insult to the writers who managed to produce great work under far more difficult conditions than the 21st-century MFA student. On a related note: Students who ask if they're "real writers," simply by asking that question, prove that they are not.

If you aren't a serious reader, don't expect anyone to read what you write.

Without exception, my best students were the ones who read the hardest books I could assign and asked for more. One student, having finished his assigned books early, asked me to assign him three big novels for the period between semesters. Infinite Jest, 2666, and Gravity's Rainbow, I told him, almost as a joke. He read all three and submitted an extra-credit essay, too. That guy was the Real Deal.

Conversely, I've had students ask if I could assign shorter books, or—without a trace of embarrassment—say they weren't into "the classics" as if "the classics" was some single, aesthetically consistent genre. Students who claimed to enjoy "all sorts" of books were invariably the ones with the most limited taste. One student, upon reading The Great Gatsby (for the first time! Yes, a graduate student!), told me she preferred to read books "that don't make me work so hard to understand the words." I almost quit my job on the spot.

No one cares about your problems if you're a shitty writer.

I worked with a number of students writing memoirs. One of my Real Deal students wrote a memoir that actually made me cry. He was a rare exception. For the most part, MFA students who choose to write memoirs are narcissists using the genre as therapy. They want someone to feel sorry for them, and they believe that the supposed candor of their reflective essay excuses its technical faults. Just because you were abused as a child does not make your inability to stick with the same verb tense for more than two sentences any more bearable. In fact, having to slog through 500 pages of your error-riddled student memoir makes me wish you had suffered more.

You don't need my help to get published.

When I was working on my MFA between 1997 and 1999, I understood that if I wanted any of the work I was doing to ever be published, I'd better listen to my faculty advisers. MFA programs of that era were useful from a professional development standpoint—I still think about a lecture the poet Jason Shinder gave at Bennington College that was full of tremendously helpful career advice I use to this day. But in today's Kindle/e-book/self-publishing environment, with New York publishing sliding into cultural irrelevance, I find questions about working with agents and editors increasingly old-fashioned. Anyone who claims to have useful information about the publishing industry is lying to you, because nobody knows what the hell is happening. My advice is for writers to reject the old models and take over the production of their own and each other's work as much as possible.

It's not important that people think you're smart.

After eight years of teaching at the graduate level, I grew increasingly intolerant of writing designed to make the writer look smart, clever, or edgy. I know this work when I see it; I've written a fair amount of it myself. But writing that's motivated by the desire to give the reader a pleasurable experience really is best. I told a few students over the years that their only job was to keep me entertained, and the ones who got it started to enjoy themselves, and the work got better. Those who didn't get it were stuck on the notion that their writing was a tool designed to procure my validation. The funny thing is, if you can put your ego on the back burner and focus on giving someone a wonderful reading experience, that's the cleverest writing.

It's important to woodshed.

Occasionally my students asked me about how I got published after I got my MFA, and the answer usually disappointed them. After I received my degree in 1999, I spent seven years writing work that no one has ever read—two novels and a book's worth of stories totaling about 1,500 final draft pages. These unread pages are my most important work because they're where I applied what I'd learned from my workshops and the books I read, one sentence at a time. Those seven years spent in obscurity, with no attempt to share my work with anyone, were my training, and they are what allowed me to eventually write books that got published.

Ryan Boudinot is executive director of Seattle City of Literature.

*~*~*~*~*

I agree with all he says except concerning publishing.

This was originally written when it was a strongly held belief that ebooks would replace paper books. Seriously, in 2009-2012 even Barnes & Noble was telling employees they'd better learn how to sell Nooks, because paper books were going to "disappear" within the next 4 years.

Didn't happen, obviously.

Traditional publishing is as it ever was; I've personally never had a problem with it, though I've known people who have (mostly due to shitty editors in smaller presses). As for Kindle/e-book/self-publishing, I don't do that, so I can't tell you anything about it (except negative stuff from people I know who've done it and regret it).

But I will add, and this is important:

YOU DON'T NEED AN MFA TO BE A TRADITIONALLY PUBLISHED WRITER.

IN FACT, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR FUCKING MONEY IF YOU DO GET AN MFA.

You can learn all you need to know about writing well without a degree. Shit, I don't even have a high school diploma (dropped out at 16).

MFA teachers promise you'll learn to write so well you'll be published faster than people without a degree. *BUZZER* Wrong!

An MFA is NO guarantee that you'll be published. Publishers are looking for work that will sell -- they're a for-profit business -- not necessarily work that's well written by a literary POV. If your book is pretty well written but publishers don't think anyone will like it enough to lay out money for it, they won't be interested.

And an MFA doesn't mean you have talent. Colleges and universities who have MFAs in Writing are looking for your $$$. They're not about to turn you down. And professors aren't keen on actually flunking anyone. As Ryan Boudinot says, as a teacher he wouldn't tell you that you don't have a lick of talent. I mean, they want more students coughing up thousands of dollars to get an MFA, and that can't happen if students bad-mouth the degree and teachers for telling them the truth that they should become attorneys or retail managers or baristas. (I'm looking at you, Hamline, Carleton.)

Another nugget they don't tell you is, on average a professional writer earns, after taxes, $3000 to $6000 a year. If you want an MFA because you're convinced you're gonna be the next bestselling NYT author,

Even if you do become a pro, it will take years and years to pay off your MFA student debt. Which means you'll need a day job, just like 99% of all pros.

So instead of going into debt for most of your life, don't get an MFA. Have a day job you like and meanwhile learn to write well the way people have done since before anyone ever heard of an MFA.

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kaesaaurelia · 1 year ago

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tiny lung knives

For @whumptober day 1, using the prompt "swooning" and the lyric prompt, "But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps."

Crowley didn't want to care about the bookshop. The thing was, though, he didn't actually feel safe in his own flat, because technically now he was a squatter, so, though it pained him to do so, he moved the few plants that had survived Shax's reign of incompetence to the shop, and also a handful of things he -- well -- didn't really want to look at, but couldn't bear to throw out -- into the bookshop. Not that he was living there. But Aziraphale had called it theirs, and, Crowley supposed that meant it was his now. Nothing lasts forever.

Muriel was happy to help, of course. Muriel was always entirely too happy to help. Crowley felt as though perhaps he ought to teach them how to be completely unhelpful, only he didn't know if he'd got out of the habit of it either, the more he looked back on his millennia of being Aziraphale's… nemesis? Ally?

Aziraphale's something, anyway.

It all made him feel very uncomfortable, like his heart was a piece of paper being crumpled up smaller and smaller every time he let himself think about all of that, so he tried not to. He tried not to notice the bookshop too hard when he was in there, tried not to wince when ever-helpful Muriel asked about the da Vinci, or the lectern he'd stolen from the bombed-out church after his and Aziraphale's near-catastrophic evening on the West End, or the plants -- well, the plants were easy, all he had to say was don't you dare spoil them, and Muriel's confused look was fine with him, actually, because it meant they had no idea what he was talking about.

The move (not that he was moving in, it wasn't that) occupied several days of unpleasant work, involving an irritating amount of physical and miraculous exertion, and when he was done, he decided it was time for a good long sleep. So he told Muriel (and briefly explained the concept of sleep to them) and went off to lie on the couch in the back room until his headache went away. He hadn't had a headache in ages, but if anything would give him one it would be… all of this, wouldn't it?

But when he woke up, several days later, it wasn't because he was well-rested -- no, the headache was much, much worse. So he forced himself to stand -- the bookshop swung around him unsteadily for a moment -- and amble over to the front of the shop, where Muriel stood in a corner reading. (Perhaps that was… comfortable for them?)

His head was pounding now; things seemed to have become worse in a matter of moments. He shook his head to try and clear it but everything was so much fuzzier, and his chest hurt now too, not the feeling of heartbreak but of tiny lung knives, which was actually, to be fair, not as bad but also, in some ways, worse, because Crowley had never experienced that in all his six thousand years on the planet and it couldn't be good that he was dealing with it now. He cleared his throat, and Muriel looked up from their book, stupidly cheerful as always. As he grasped for something to convey just how he was feeling, he realized he was too lightheaded and dizzy to keep standing for much longer, and decided to stick with the basics.

"Jusst to be clear," he told them, "what I'm going to do now isss… not ssleep, and I don't want it to be happening. And it'sss… very very bad." They frowned and opened their mouth to ask a question, but then the room wobbled in front of him once more, his legs gave out, and the floor came rushing up to meet him. The tiny lung knives burned, like a thousand little angels with a thousand holy swords in his chest, and the world went dark.

next part

#whumptober2023 #no.1 #lyric #swooning #good omens #fic #anthony j crowley #muriel good omens #ineffable husbands #text #fiction #kaesa op

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shoggothkisses · 1 year ago

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Lore Rant: Ars Goetia Review and Speculation, 4.0 Edition

Yes, I know - Genshin fans and loremongers have done this a hundred times. It's everywhere on the wiki; we've been digging up info on the "demonic names" of the Archons (and non-Archon gods!) for as long as Genshin has been out. But I want to make a post about it, damn it, and so I will. Hopefully it'll make a nice point of reference that's easier to examine as a whole document than hopping around from wiki page to wiki page.

I also want to include a little speculation and some miscellaneous info I gleaned from looking at a facsimile of the actual Ars Goetia (second edition, ed. Aleister Crowley, you prick) I happened to find at work. It's a small book but the sucker is dense. Even so, i came across a couple things I found interesting enough to share.

I. Goetic Demons Referenced in Genshin(as of 4.0)

Baal/Bael (Makoto & Ei) - King : "rules over the East," can provide the sorcerer invoking them with invisibility. (It should be noted that although the only "true" Baal in Genshin is Makoto, Ei is also referred to as Baal. Beelzebul [Ei's true demonic name] is not spoken of directly in the Ars Goetia, as the name is synonymous with Baal [Ba'al-zebul, NOT Beelzebub] - who, other than being mentioned briefly as a ruler over demons in the Bible, has basically nothing attributed to him.)

Amon/Amun (Deshret) - Marquis : depicted as a fire-breathing wolf with a serpent's tail; knows all things past and future. (this gets repeated a LOT, and with very specific figures.)

Barbatos (Venti) - Duke : associated with Sagittarius (the archer constellation) ; can talk to animals ; can talk to animals ; knows all things past and future. (Though it may be coincidental, an illustration in the copy of the Goetia I was reading from had Barbatos depicted as an elf-eared man surrounded by horns playing music.)

Paimon (...Paimon) - King : "very obedient unto Lucifer" ; supposed to have a "great roaring voice" that makes it impossible to understand him upon first summoning (lmao) ; not only knows of all things past and future but also knows about the World/Earth and how it "floats upon the Seas" ; associated with the West. (will discuss this later in the post.)

Buer (Nahida) - President : associated with Sagittarius (less meaningful than Barbatos, but maybe there's something there) ; teaches Philosophy and Logic ; knows the "virtues" of herbs and plants and can heal all diseases

Morax (Zhongli) - Earl AND President : depicted as a bull with a man's face (may be referenced in Venti's voice lines, as he calls him a "stubborn blockhead" in CN) ; knows Astronomy, "Liberal Sciences," and the virtues of all herbs and stones (referenced heavily in the Liyue Archon Quest)

Naberius - Marquis : depicted as a black bird or crane ; knowledgable in art and rhetoric. (We know basically nothing about Naberius, except that Gold and Albedo [in his character story] found an artifact called the Heart of Naberius in a dungeon, and that after finding it, Albedo was entrusted with "finding the truth of the world." We can't automatically conclude that Naberius was a dragon based solely on its depiction in the Goetia, as it seems HYV picked and chose which depictions they wanted to reference - but I don't think it would be a stretch if it was.)

Astaroth (Istaroth) - Duke : depicted as an angel riding a dragon, carrying a viper in one hand (sick.) ; knows all things past and future ; has knowledge of "why the Spirits fell."

Marchosias (Guoba!) - Marquis : has a similar description to Amun (wolf with serpent's tail) ; likewise breathes fire. (While Guoba isn't extremely important to the overall story in Teyvat, I find it's worth mentioning him because he was technically the first mention of a god losing its memories and shrinking into a smaller form after expending a great deal of elemental energy - which is exactly what happened to Nahida and, I strongly believe, other godscoughPaimoncough.)

Focalor (Furina) - Duke : depicted as a man with gryphon's wings (there are a LOT of gryphon statues in Fontaine!) ; capable of drowning men and overturning war ships ; controls the seas

Haagenti (Guizhong) - President : teaches men how to transmute all metals into gold (Because I can't leave well enough alone, I definitely think there's an implication here about Guizhong being the one who actually brought gold/Mora to Liyue. The Zhongli of the past was better known for his martial prowess than his intelligence - which I find hilarious considering the Zhongli we know now - and so I suspect his current role as God of Commerce came from things she taught him.)

Orobas (Orobashi) - Prince : can discover all things past and future (note: written in a more passive way than other "knowledge of all things" demons; as though he takes a passive role and gives the ability to the summoner, rather than just telling them) ; gives true answers about the creation of the world. (I like to take this description from the Goetia as a sign that everything Orobashi learned from Before Sun and Moon was true and accurate - why else would Celestia try so hard to silence him?)

Ose (Oz???) - President : can convince a target (specified by the summoner) that they're something they're not. (Oz often gets mentioned in this line-up because he's listed right before a demon named Amy (Fischl) - who doesn't really do anything special that other demons can't already do. I used to think this was coincidental but ultimately pointless speculation, since...well, Fischl's a human, right? But there has to be a reason why Oz exists, and an answer to where he came from. I'll be mentioning it in a future discussion. :9)

Andras (Andrius) - Marquis : depicted as riding a black wolf ; aggro as heck and will kill you if you're not paying attention to what you're doing. (Might be a reference to his role as a boss.)

Haures/Havres (Havria) - Duke : like Orobas, has knowledge of all things and will give answers about the creation of the world ; notably, will lie if not bound correctly. (Very little is written about Havres otherwise; the lying part of the description may be a reference to how Havria's story was altered in Liyue as time passed.)

Decarabia (n) - Duke : takes the form of a pentacle ; knows virtue of all stones and all birds. (I went through Decarabian's wiki page a couple times and I can't find a direct reference to birds anywhere. What I can offer in terms of speculation is that they may have used this as a reference to how he essentially made Old Mondstadt into a cage [with his people trapped as birds might be], or how Dvalin [who inhabits Decarabian's tower after his fall] has birdlike plumage. Avian symbols are all over in Genshin, but I don't know if they have much to do with Decarabia in general.)

II. Miscellaneous Notes & Speculations

According to the Goetia (and corroborated by me, just now, on the internet), the word "demon" is derived from Proto-European daimon which means something akin to "divider" (of fates/destinies). Plato (hi) later claimed that his term daemon as meaning something closer to "knowing." For ancient Greeks, daemons weren't actual beings so much as intermediary forces somewhere between mortal and divine - at least, not until the Hellenistic Age, when Greek culture got thrown in with Egyptian and Persian/West Asian influences and mixed like a bag of Shake 'Em Up Fries, and daemons became something more akin to djinn.

Eleazar (Hebrew priest) is mentioned in the Goetia as a 1st-century "contemporary" of King Solomon, who allegedly used a ring to expel a demon out of some guy's nose, in front of eyewitnesses. I found it extremely interesting that this is where Eleazar gets its namesake, since it has more in common with a demonic possession (something something evil illness) than said possession's exorcism. I had a pet theory a long time ago that Eleazar manifested the way it does (black scales) because it's slowly turning those experiencing it into dragons, like a form of devolution? While I never really got confirmation for this, we should consider that Forbidden Knowledge was brought and filtered into Teyvat by the Dragon Sovereigns, where it mixed with their anger and desire to be rid of the Primordial One's influence. Since humans are a product of said influence, the name Eleazar makes a little more sense: it's the will of the dragons attempting to "exorcise" the energies that they deemed evil.

Aleister Crowley's versions of Goetic rituals (unclear whether it's like this in other versions, as, again, it's really hard to parse which parts of the Key of Solomon are legit, and which he made up) assigns Osiris (or possibly Horus?) as the "creator god." The declaration that his creator god is an "invisible god who dwells in the void" suggests more of the former (Osiris being the god of the underworld), while Horus's association with the dawn/morning star is more reminiscent of Lucifer.

There are supposed to be four demon kings which govern the cardinal directions. Nobody seems to be able to agree who they are, but Paimon is mentioned pretty regularly as the king who governs the West. While this is pure speculation, I believe this may act to further associate Paimon with the Seelie, as the old Seelie Kingdom is supposed to be a barren wasteland, and the most barren wasteland we know of (the Mare Jivari) is supposed to be the furthest point opposite Mondstadt (i.e. to the West).

King Solomon was known for trapping the demons he summoned into a brass vessel. This is openly acknowledged in the Goetia as being similar to how the djinn of Arabian myth was captured in a bottle. Brass is regularly mentioned in Sumeru in reference to Jinn, Shiruyeh and Brass Mask Uprising.

The second half of the Goetia is written in Enochian with English translation, but is essentially the same as the rituals portion of the first half. Worth mentioning that the Abyss mages may or may not speak Enochian, although most translations of said Enochian come up as gibberish.

I ignored most of the spells/rituals in the book, but I did come across one that felt EXTREMELY relevant: the "Curse Of The Spirit's Chain Against Those Who Rebel." In the event that the demon a summoner is trying to work with isn't acting in accordance to their wishes, a parchment with the demon's name is shoved into a black box and bound with iron wire. This act "sends (the demon) to the Abyss to remain unto the day of Doom in chains." So kind of like this?

Food for thought.

As always, lmk if I missed anything, and drop an ask if you want to discuss topics or theories!

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin lore #lore rants

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rescuefield-a · 1 year ago

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following the last post, though we have seen many times that claire basically keeps terrasave running, her position in the organisation has changed throughout the years:

she technically first heard of them a few months after being founded in 1999, though she actually joined in 2000 as a volunteer. they funded her studies in exchange for her story being used in interviews and fundraisings events

her first mission was in early 2004 in valdelobos, though it was a waste of time since they had arrived too late and never figured out what was happening with the civilians or the kids that disappeared. their collaboration with the local law enforcement was a mess too

in 2005 claire was already sort of testing waters about that spokesperson position though the airport outbreak definitely made it difficult to deal with the press about the protests happening in harvardville. inmy humble opinion even though the narrative being pushed is that claire chose a peaceful path, the way she dealt with the survivors shows that she's the only one of the mains who can be both fighter and rescuer if she wants

in 2006 she was coordinating the relief in penamstan, which is definitely a higher position but still falls in the volunteer zone. she's entrusted with talking to senators about collaborations between terrasave and the government, so i think in a way she was already getting ready to step up in position

2009 is the earliest we know of neil's involvement as leader of terrasave even though it's implied he joined sometime in 2005 after FBC was shut down, and climbed up in attempt to secretly continue lansdale's legacy. i find ot interesting that he was voted leader because of his sharp insight about bioterrorism but like, sure on paper he seems to align to the other "leaders" / founders ( chris and leon specifically ) views, but then that's it. neil gets votes but then in 2010 claire is the one organising the meeting between terrasave, bsaa and dso to which as far as we know she was also present, and in 2011 he had to pull her aside during the party to ask if she knew anything from DC. he's the leader on paper but he sure isn't leading shit if the people he's in alliance with don't even bother to talk to him specifically. i won't dwell on claire lying through her teeth about not being aware that there's a whole conspiracy since 2006 simply because that belongs to another meta but i do think at some point she was officially appointed spokesperson because 1) her connections are useful... and people prefer to talk to her better apparently, 2) neil doesn't have the personality to speak to people. it's noted he's a calm man but also detached by bioterrorism as a whole, things are just another tuesday for him ( negative ) so claire's more sensible approach is way useful when talking to the press

she's kept the spokesperson / second in command position up until sejm and her consequent resignation or break, whatever you want to call it. while i have my doubts that claire would come back knowing that even the organisation she's been in for most of her life is corrupt in some degree, i believe claire's plan was to teach moira the way so that at the next election they would have become the leader / second in command duo

death island will probably show claire as a volunteer once again because capflop hates having cool women in position of power, but in the off chance they don't tell us more about what happened post sejm, this is how things will go: from 2011 to 2013 claire was unaffiliated from terrasave, and mostly spent her time tracing back all the steps of neil and alex's plans in order to clear terrasave's name ( not that they asked, but since she really wants that leader position some leverage is needed ). benford's presidential speech at tall oaks was supposed to start a new era though as we know it was the opposite. claire helped terrasave volunteers in the aftermath of the outbreak even though there wasn't much left by the end of it. she's elected leader in 2014, with the assignment to sonido de tortuga being her first since working with the ngo again. it's worth to note that with claire being the leader, collaborations with the bsaa are more frequent; claire also reports to chris in these cases as if she was another agent, because technically she is. since it seems that the events of death island will be game changer to the point it needs the whole squad, in 2015 she will be in san francisco / alcatraz to conduct a joint investigation with the bsaa

#ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ meta.#does this make sense? who knows #my favourite thing to remind everyone is that claire was basically calling all the shots even when neil was leader #and it's genuinely hilarious to me bc even on sejm everyone was like yeah neil will get us out of here he's such a good leader #but in the end he couldn't even get himself out on his own he tried to get claire on his side until the very end #WE CAN RULE TOGETHER etc etc but claire was already mentally checked out from their relationship 💀 she just needed an excuse lmao

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beneathsilverstars · 3 months ago

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I'm back, now with research! Ty Coda for making the Loop spreadsheet! My original draft for OP said "go back and count up the actual-factual lies" so... let's do that!

First, I got it swapped; they actually say it silly first, then let the mask down and get serious.

But it felt cruel to tell you, so I didn't. You looked so... So happy and innocent and stupid!!! I just didn't have the heart to tell you!!! ...I just didn't have the heart to tell you.

Now, the possible lies, roughly in order from most questionable to most actual-factual! Followed by analysis, so feel free to skip to the conclusion if you're bored of quotes, lol.

The Lies

[When Siffrin asks if they're a star:] Uh, no? Of course not? Stars don't talk, dummy? [When talking about themself later:] I AM a star, after all.

This feels less like a lie and more like two meanings for the same word (flaming ball of gas vs stylized spiky glowy thing), but it's technically a contradiction.

You're right. I can't understand you. After all, I don't know what it's like to feel your home slip out from under you. To feel cut off from everything. To want to remember it all, no matter what. How could I? Look at me, stardust. Look at my face. Do you REALLY think I'm supposed to be here?! Do you REALLY think I can't understand what it's like, to not have a home I can go back to? To see reflections of it everywhere I look, but without the connection that comes with it? Do you really think I don't understand wanting to remember everything that I've left behind?

Sarcasm, followed by rhetorical questions that clarify the truth.

[During 2hats act 6:] So, you've won, haven't you? [...] Awwwwwww. I'm soooooo happy for you.

Obvious sarcasm.

[When asked why they had Siffrin hang out and let the party die:] For funsies, of course! And because I was curious to know how the loops work.

Frivolous statement that could be a total lie or a piece of the truth, then the serious truth.

[When Siffrin asks if they're jealous of the other members of his party:] I'm really not jealous, okay? ...Not of your party, anyway.

Statement that would be a lie on its own, then a clarification to make it true.

[End of 2hats act 6:] I'll see you all again soon enough, stardust. I promise! I super promise! I super duper promise!

Is a promise you may not have control over keeping a lie?

Plus, why would I care about [the other members of your party]? I only care about you, stardust~!

This could be a lie, or a very specific kind of truth; maybe Loop means that they don't consider these pale copies to be the people they care for, or maybe they mean that their full focus is currently on helping Siffrin.

[After teaching Siffrin how to use the dagger:] Helping you out comes with certain rules. But I asked to be here. So it's fine.

Loop obviously wasn't happy about being possessed. So this could be a blatant lie, or more of a minimizing "It's not good but it's not worth making a big deal over" / "You don't need to worry about it."

[After talking about how they know how it feels to be trapped and desperate:] Hahaha...! Look at me, talking and talking! Don't pay attention to me. I'm doing fine.

Obviously they aren't doing great, so lying/minimizing again.

[When Siffrin wonders why they care about his silver coin:] I don't care. Not in the slightest!

Obviously you care, why else would you be needling Siffrin about it. 🙄

[During the act 5 convo where Siffrin insists the solution must be for Siffrin themself to strike the final blow on the king:] Loop: I can say with certainty that it's not it. It has to be something else... Siffrin: Why? Loop: Huh? Well, are you even sure you've never defeated the King yourself? I'm sure it must have happened once or twice. You've been looping for a long time, so you might have forgo-- Siffrin: "It must have happened once or twice?" I'm certain I never defeated him myself. And yet... How can you say it with certainty? Do you know something? Loop: N-No, I don't know any more than you, stardust!!! It's just... I know that's not it.

Here it is! The one time Loop got backed into a corner! They tried to evade with questions and implications, but Siffrin was being unusually stubborn, forcing Loop to be more direct. Loop was torn between keeping their secrets and finding a way to get Siffrin to let go of this awful plan, so they panicked and lied. (There are points earlier in the game where Loop says they know as much about the loops as Siffrin does right now, but I consider those true because why would it occur to Loop that the killing blow could be relevant? That's not even an omission that's a truly inconsequential detail.)

That's it! I was skimming kinda fast on a small phone screen so I may have missed something minor but I feel like I've got everything important.

The Summary and Analysis

On occasion they utter something technically untrue: they use obvious sarcasm, or say something false/frivilous and then immediately clear it up, or make a hopeful claim/promise that they can't actually guarantee.

Several times they lie that they're fine or they don't care. They don't lie about this nearly as often as Siffrin does.

And one single time, they directly lie that they don't have knowledge when they actually do.

(I suppose there's also times where Loop says something about their motivations, intentions, or feelings that we can't know for sure is true because we're not in their head. But knowing everything we do about them, I really see no reason to doubt claims such as "I want to help" and "It's so much fun to annoy you".)

I think at this point we can all agree that Loop tries very hard not to lie directly! They avoid the full truth fairly often as well: they ask leading or rhetorical questions and let Siffrin assume as they will; they use phrases like "you've learned x and assumed y" to avoid stating anything as fact that they aren't personally sure about; they tell the truth as if it's a joke or a metaphor; and they avoid bringing up certain topics, or leave details out of their answers.

But they do their absolute best to avoid telling lies, and their misdirections usually contain the most relevant truths; either patiently guiding Siffrin through the game one step at a time, or giving their feelings on a subject without the concrete reasons behind them. It really feels like much more obfuscation than it actually is! They don't want to tell you their identity and backstory, but if you guess it they will outright say "yeah, sure, you found me out," albeit in an insincere tone.

The conclusion

Loop misdirects using the truth. Their words are nearly always true, and... so is their "facade".

They help Siffrin because they want them to succeed. They lash out and say cruel things because they are upset and they want to make Siffrin upset too. They joke about being jealous and lonely because they are jealous and lonely.

They are actually a lot more open about their thoughts and feelings than Siffrin is, for better or worse!

The only thing they're really trying to cover up is that they are traumatized, overwhelmed, and miserable. Very normal things to not want to wallow in, especially when you're trying to be helpful! Their facade is just a switch to a different coping mechanism: Siffrin was quiet and funny; Loop is loud and funny instead. Siffrin tried to bury their feelings until they broke; Loop has already broken.

They're not... hiding some truer self. This is who they are, now, as shaped by both circumstance and choice.

Friendly, jealous, angry, helpful Loop.

holds you like a wounded dove and looks deep into your eyes. loop's facade is made out of truths, they just say it all like it's haha silly jokes or abstract metaphor. there's even moments where we see the mask slipping, and when they realize they said something too vulnerably honest, they put the mask back on by repeating the same thing but in a teasing tone. they avoid actual-factual lying until they're backed into a corner!

#THIS IS SO MEANDERING animegirlhandsonhead.jpg #someday i'll make some shorter snazzier posts with the more important thoughts #but i guess it will be easier to make them now that i've done this research #OP here rly suffered from me second guessing myself and hedging my statements lmao #anyway i looove loop #eats them #like a wounded dove #lol #isat #isat spoilers #loop #thoughts about loop #thoughts

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sonofsaviors · 1 year ago

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@merlexxdixon

Merle snorts softly, “Boy, probably th’ smartest thin’ yer ever gonna do is not ta do that. Or really anyone at this point 'cause as yer no doubt realizin' th' goddamn dead ain't worse than the livin' in most cases these days.” And his lips curve upwards. “Daryl may be th’ sweet onna th’ two of us but even he has his limits on the bullshit he’ll take from anyone. Yer ol’ man better learn ta be careful ‘cause Southern Charm can come as a kiss with a fist.” While he was sure the wound looked bad wasn’t worse than the one he’d done to himself. He��d be fine. What he did not want to be was beholden to the spawn of the man making his community’s life hell. Not a goddamn chance. “Been survivin’ longer’n yer been outta diapers. I can handle this,” he retorts as he drags the next one around. “Ain’t gonna be done in by a stab wound. Takes more’n that these days.” He gazes at the other sizing him up a moment. He dislikes how much these Savior pricks were making a mess of it but he has to remember that a terrible leader made for a lot of nasty shit people weren’t normally willing to do. He’d spent a year with someone like the Governor and knew that full well. However, as he considers he realizes it might be a teachable moment. If he knew some might as well give him some better training. “Suppose if yer gonna be the princess to the kingdom might as well c’mere an’ learn a thin’ or two. An’ get annoyed wit’ Ol’ Merle yer can get fuckin’ in line, sweetheart. ‘S a lon’ list. But suppose if yer wanna survive probably should know a few thin’s. An' honestly, considerin' yer daddy's penchant fer monologuin' an' that damn leather, I don' think he knows jack-shit on how ta survive outside." He slowly unshoulders a bag. "That is if yer willin' ta learn a bit."

Logan immediately scowled at being called a boy, even if it was technically true. Still, he was sixteen, almost going to be seventeen in a couple of months; he was practically an adult. He didn't care what this meat-headed moron had to say about his age. He had survived in this world since he was twelve; he wasn't going to let it beat him.

"Well that's fucking obvious. People sucked before they started dying and starting to eat each other." He folded his arms across his chest, rocking a bit on his heels and eyeing Merle a bit suspiciously. "Everyone's got limits. Ours was you fuckers attacking one of our outposts and killing people. And mine is people hurting my Dad." He growled, squaring his shoulders a bit to try and level up with Merle. He was young, but big for his age. "And my charm is several stab wounds if your idiot brother thinks he can hurt my Dad. Lots of stab wounds. In important organs and stuff." He added, a bit petulantly, but Dad was the last family he had left That was worth the threat of bodily harm to anyone who looked at him funny. Even if that person was a redneck that obviously had never figured out how soap worked.

"You got a problem with me leading the Saviors?" Logan immediately challenged afterwards, meeting Merle's gaze steadily, eyes narrowed. "I don't care how fucking old you are. It just makes you old, and cranky. And grumpy." He grumbled, but his annoyed expression had softened a bit. He was used to dealing with Simon and Dwight. There were few people grumpier then them. A lot of the other Saviors gave him shit daily, pushed him around and poked at his buttons. It was like having dozens of older siblings. Redneck Captain Hook would have to try harder.

"Leather's good against walker bites and scratches. Might think about that. Seen lots of people get bit on the arm or torso." Logan hesitantly took a seat beside Merle, still keeping a wary eye on him. "Sure it bruises, cause I guess they don't have bite inhibition anymore. All they care about is fucking eating now, but I'll take a bruise over turning." The young man's face took on a curious look as Merle offered to teach him, a bit of small smile quirking one corner of his mouth.

"Sure. Long as it's not," he puts on an exaggerating accent that might be close to Merle's, "jus' rub some dirt on it, boah." He shrugged his own backpack off, placing it in his lap and resting his arms on top. He played with one of the pins on the back, featuring a Savior's Athletics Logo. "Yeah. I'm listening. I'm listening."

#He's a brat - I'm sorry #merlexxdixon #He is going to say Redneck Captain Hook one day #and it will likewise send me #Merle Dixon - Redneck Captain Hook

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ferociouslycreativemystery · 3 years ago

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WHY do I need to get one (1) education? Can't I just download like 10 different uni programs into my brain and then make a living off infodumping on people about what I know?

#I don't mind public speaking so why can't I just do that?#i suppose technically that would be teaching but I don't want to have to deal with PEOPLE or HOMEWORK either so...#also the pay is shit #do I even need a job?#is eating actually that important?#okay maybe #but just uuuurrrrggghhhh I don't want to have to choose #also don't remind me of this post in the autumn when I will actually have to do the work of learning whatever I settle on #I want language and literature and philosophy with a touch of history and maths and possibly coputers #but like at the same time reading anything feels like a chore and I never make more than 2 pages #I want to learn more languages but word lists and grammar terrify me #I want to know about society and sociology but what do you even do for a job then?#I've got 12 tabs open and a vacant brain #hhheeeellllppppp #maddie debrief

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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 2 years ago

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Being a Hunter and Mentor

to Gon and Killua

*it's was the most generic hxh gif I could find 😅

Hunter x Hunter characters (probably a large variety of them) x gn! Reader

Warnings: light Swearing, Hisoka

A/N: I'm currently on a HxH fixation because I've binged the entire series 😃 I wanted to try my hand at some headcannons because I have zero self control ✌🏻 back to the regularly scheduled programming Thursday!

Honestly YN, I'm not sure which job is scarier

Being a Hunter or dealing with everyone else who is also a Hunter 😐

Because like, it's a lot

Like I'm exhausted just watching the anime I can only imagine how you feel

Let's just say you passed the Hunter exam on your first try 💅🏼

Honestly ✨️MATERIAL GWORL✨️

You've been a pro hunter for about 5 years now

Love that for you

It's a lucrative business and you absolutely love your job

You meet all sorts of interesting people and get to do some amazing things

One of those interesting people just happens to be Ging Freecss 🙃

At first, he seems like a nice guy and I'm sure he is

But then he ruins it 😐

"YN when my son comes looking for you, I want you to make his life miserable. Teach him but make him miserable"- Ging

You 👉🏻👁👄👁 pardon

First off all, this man's has a son ✋🏻

Not only that but he wants you to make his child's life miserable?

"Wow dad of the year much?"- you say

"Never claimed that YN, just please do this for me. I owe you one"- Ging says before he disappears just like he did from Gon's life

OH BURNNN 🔥

I'm so sorry Gon 😭

You can't tell me he wouldn't be all "ITS OK MY DAD IS THE COOLEST :D"

NE WAYS you continue on your life's path until you "accidently" bump into a less than friendly white haired boy

"Watch out!"- he yells

"Excuse me?"- You 😃 🔪

"Killua apologize! We are so sorry!"- a black haired boy says looking at you

Boy does he look familiar 🙃

"Quite the temper you got on you there kid. No worries, it would take more than a child to knock me over"- you

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME??"- Killua, giving Bakugo level anger issues 💥

"I mean we are children technically. I'm Gon by the way"- Gon says extending his hand

Finally the prophecy has come full circle 🔵

"Ahh yes, Ging's son. Nice to meet you, I'm YN"- you say

Gon 👉🏻😐😳🤩 you know my dad!

"I do! In fact, you're dad told me that when I meet you, I'm suppose to make your life miserable" you add

Gon 👉🏻😃 whet-

"But since your dad is kind of a jerk, how about this? I'll show you a few things and send you on your way"- you say

Gon 👉🏻🤩 yes please!

Killua 👉🏻😐🙄 whatever

*intermission*

Dear YN it's me, the person writing this headcannon set, just making sure you are ok because like do you know what you are getting yourself into??

Well I guess we all have to learn the hard way sometimes 🤷

*intermission over*

You begin your journey with Killua and Gon

Surprisingly, everything is going smoothly

🎶 don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious 🎶- me singing to myself before I ruin your life 😅

You see, at first, everything WAS fine

You meet Kurapika and Leorio

"Wow Gon, that's awesome that YN is training you!"- Leorio says

"Yeah and that you're getting closer to meeting your dad finally"- Kurapika adds

You were training the boys in their specialized Nen abilities

Helping them to strengthen them as well as teaching them more about the world of hunting

You were walking down the streets if YorkNew City when you sensed a strange presence 🤨

"Dont be alarmed but someone's watching us. Just walk normally and don't look suspicious"- you say as you walk with Gon and Killua down the street, turning into a side alley

"Alright show yourself"- you say, gearing up for a battle

"Oh no it looks like I've been spotted"- a creepy clown looking man says emerging from the shadows

You 👉🏻😳🤨

"Who are you? Sorry buddy I don't think the circus is in town right now"- you

Oh good one YN 😜

The creepy clown man just laughs

"That's Hisoka YN, he's a hunter too"- Gon says

"Oh I've heard of you before"- you say, squinting your eyes at Hisoka

"All good things I hope" he says smiling at you

"Honestly no but I judge people on my own interactions not the opinions of others"- you add

"How noble of you YN"- Hisoka says 🤡 🔪

Hisoka totally knows who you are and let's just say he's weary

See I forgot to mention that you are not only a skilled hunter but in incredible Nen user as well

A specialist 💅🏼

Your ability is known around the Hunter world and you are one tough cookie

Your training for Gon and Killua is much like how you learned to train

"So... we just run..."- Killua questions

"Run yes but also while producing aura. Now go!"- You shout

"But YN, aren't we going to run out of energy quickly"- Gon asks

"Sure you will"- you shrug and set your things down

Killua 👉🏻🤨 so what's the point?

"The point is you do what I say"- you add

Please Killua is ready to fight you YN 😭

However you aren't as tough on the boys as Ging had wanted

You never were one to do as others asked YN 🙄

So you not only taught the boys but you nurtured them as well

Kindness goes a long way, even in the world of Hunters 🥰

Unfortunately for you, kindness doesn't extend to most of the underground of YorkNew City

Namely a certain group 👀

Or shall is say Troupe...

Look at me rhyming 😏

That's right because it's just Gon and Killua's luck that they would walk right into the Troupe's hands

Honestly 🤦 have you taught them nothing YN?

"Well I guess I should probably go and rescue them?"- You think as you head in the direction of the Troupe's hideout

You didn't PLAN for this to happen but you can't say you're disappointed

What fun training am I right??? 👍🏻

Thankfully the whole gangs here when you enter the Troupe's hideout

"Alright give me my students back"- you say as everyone watches you waltz in like you own the place

The troupe 👉🏻😐😲

Chrollo 👉🏻 😏 interesting

Gon and Killua 👉🏻😬😬

"How- how did you find this place?"- Phinks asks

"Oh its really not that hard, I put trackers on Gon and Killua so I don't lose them. I'm always losing things"- you say shrugging

Same YN, BIG SAME

"Want me to torture them?"- Feitan asks

Chrollo puts his hand up before you interject

"Don't bother, I'm only here to get these two"- you say walking up to them, studying the nen thread binding them

"Well this is unfortunate. I'm going to need someone to remove this nen thread"- you say

"You can try-" Machi says before she watches her Nen thread fall to the floor

Gone and Killua just stand there 🧍‍♂️ 👁👄👁

"Impressive YN"- Chrollo finally says

"A Nen ability like that is superior"- Illumi adds emerging out from the shadows

"Chrollo Luciler and Illumi Zoldyck, how nice to see you again"- you say standing up and peering at the two men

"YN it's always a pleasure"- Chrollo adds as Illumi nodds

"Well I'd love to stay and catch up but we need to get these two kiddos to bed"- you say pushing Killua and Gon to the door

"It's like 2pm YN!"- Killua growls

"Do you want to get killed? No? Then shut it!"- You whisper yell at the boys

"I'd love to fight you YN"- Hisoka says emerging from behind a large crate

Well would you look at the time ⌚️

"I'd love too BUT unfortunately I have plans so let's do a rain check"- you say, practically hauling Killua and Gon under your arms and out the door

I AM SPEED 💨

"Why don't we go after them boss?"- Franklin questions

"Now is not the time. Not with YN there"- Chrollo says smiling as you quickly leave the warehouse

"Seriously can you two please not"- you say as you finally make it back to your hotel

"YN you were awesome! Can you teach me more about your Nen??"- Gon says 🤩

Please the golden retriever energy ✋🏻

Killua just huffs 😤

You smile, knowing these boys are both going to be amazing Hunters 🥰

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savingthrcw · 1 year ago

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"Absolutely, I take full responsibility. And in any case, if I say it most people will agree, as long as my ears are hidden. If you say it you may get pitchforks and fire in response because how dare you, we have the best wine, it's our pride and joy." Her smile was genuine and friendly, though morphing for a moment into a grimace when the smell of alcohol that had fallen all over the surface next to her hit her nose. Without much of a second thought, not because she feared dirtying herself, she was an outdoor person and didn't care, but because she didn't want to ruin the sleeve of her new leather coat Neria casually pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket, and placed it on the counter where her elbow was likely to rest soon.

"I have dwarven liquor in my trunk, in the room they gave me. The kind that normally I'd have to sell a house to buy, I found it in the ruins of a buried castle in the west... long story. Anyway, I'll make sure you get it," she offered. Oghren could have killed her for that bottle, but what he didn't know couldn't hurt him, and this man was clearly suffering the lack of luxury. She had never lost the habit of collecting things that could be gifted to someone later on.

"Oh, see, this is literally one of the things I've been fighting for in the past ten years: educating mages, and people who don't understand magic and are afraid of it, so that we can all live together later on. Circles are supposed to teach, if someone is going to use magic to kill innocent people, chances are they were going to do the same with a sword or poison or whatever else, I just... No. No. I'm not going to bore you with a two hours yelled speech about freedom and education. I know better than this." She was obviously reminding herself of that, so that poor Dorian wouldn't have to suffer over her venting. But she didn't miss that he had wanted to skip her question about time magic entirely. Fair enough, they didn't even know each other yet. "You know, we can't even run from our Circles because they keep samples of our blood to track us down. But it's not like many of us would run, if you had asked me before my Harrowing, I'd have told you there was no better place for me in the world that inside our tower, where the Templars could keep an eye on me. Talk about brainwashed." After ten years the humiliation from having believed Irving to be far closer than he meant to had finally left, but not the anger, even if her tone was a lot more under control than years before, more sarcastic than 'about to explode'.

She lit up at that little information about Cullen, always amused when she thought of him. She wondered if he took being flirted with better now. "No, I did not know that, but did you know he was the prettiest Templar we had in the Circle, and we all had a bit of a crush on him?" she retorted, laughter in her voice, "That is one of the very few nice things about those years. Even if, technically he was supposed to kill me if the Harrowing went wrong. But hey, if you gonna die, may as well be at the hands of a looker." Better than Darkspawn for sure.

Oh, he was funny. Okay, now their pairing made sense. "On the contrary, my dear. I assumed killing one Archdemon wasn't going to be enough to catch your illustrius Altus attention," Neria grinned up at him, "Honestly, I keep forgetting I'm supposed to be a big deal in Ferelden, let alone outside. I stopped one Blight, whatever, it wasn't like I did it all by myself... Don't get me wrong, I will milk this for the rest of my life to get any benefit possible out of it, but..." she shrugged with an unconvinced noise, "And I asked because I was checking if Leliana indeed picked you because she expects us to get along, and more importantly hopes I'm not going to be a problem, as in making loud statements about my political opinions, which would happen if you were to be a elf-hating blood mage, for example. Sneaky Lel." She gave the barkeep who had finally gotten to them her brightest smile, "Hi! I would like the strongest bottle of wine you can find and a glass, thank you very much, and whatever my friend here wishes to order."

"I may know as much, but in calling Fereldan drinks "mud," I am merely repeating your own sentiments. Your own words, in fact." Playing political games was a second nature to Dorian, something drilled into him in early childhood and something he would never lose the ability to do. Nor would he ever not fall back upon it when necessary, such as a sort of comfort, a safe way to speak to someone new while attempting to figure them out. Much like he was doing at that current moment. Agreement with statements was fine, but it was always best not to express such things in his own words so as to prevent comments coming back to him with consequences at a later date… which disparaging comments made about the South were wont to do, given the suspicion that many still regarded him with. "I shan't be making any jokes at the expense of any people, elven or otherwise." That was all he needed to say on that matter, he hoped.

"Mmm, if you are indeed to stay for a while, perhaps I will have the chance to introduce you to true wine. Perhaps even liquor, should we find ourselves so lucky." A wistful thought, a far-flung hope, but one he harboured nonetheless. "One of the things that Tevinter gets right is the education of mages. That is all it is, in our Circles - nurturing of talents and education thereof. It is what has enabled us to have made far greater discoveries in magical sciences than the South, or so I have come to believe in my time here. Perhaps you simply have all of your miraculous advancements locked up, hidden away from me." He chuckled, knowing full-well that was not the case. Why, the majority of the Southern mages he had met barely even used magic for everyday ease or for simple entertainment. No one showed off and it was terribly depressing to dwell upon. "Time magic? That is... many years of theoretical study and very few years of experimentation, and something I would prefer not to get into without at least a few drinks." Thinking too long on his old mentor, his pseudo-family, made him a bit somber. Time to quickly pivot the subject then, Pavus.

"You know Cullen? Are you aware of the fact that our dear Commander is just positively dreadful at chess?" More honestly, Cullen was simply dreadful at noticing Dorian's frequent cheating… but a win was a win, in his book. He did so enjoy teasing Cullen - while they may not have agreed on everything all of the time, he was hardly the hardest to look at, which was more surprising than Dorian would like to admit, given how positively Southern every aspect of Cullen really was. "Ah, but you said yourself - you do not know me. Presuming, thus, that I do not care about anyone involved in any way with the Inquisition, let alone someone who has achieved so much in her life as you are, at least, reported to have done… now that is doing me a disservice. Presuming so little of me!" His words may have been a bit hard, but his tone was friendly. Dorian hoped that Neria would pick up on the latter and not take offense based upon the former.

"I have spoken not a single lie to you, my dear." His words were delivered with a smile as they made their way to the sticky bar. Why was it always sticky? And what with? Questions which Dorian harboured but truly, honestly never wanted to learn the answers to. "I may sound impressive, but that is simply because I am. Details may be vague, but everything which I have said has been the truth and naught else. Why do you ask?"

#please I've never been able to write a short reply in my life #it just happens #also lol you can find a reference in this reply to how she absolutely BOUGHT friendships with gifts in DAO because it was easier than to #agree with people just to make them happy lmao #altuspavus #first time at skyhold #muse: neria #show: dao #neria thread;

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yanderes-galore · 2 years ago

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Hey! I don’t really write requests too much so I kinda don’t know how to word this but could you elaborate on the platonic yandere eggman post? (Either in headcanons or a fic it’s your choice) It sounded interesting ! Thanks :)

I need to watch Sonic Boom soon, so I just kept this general.

Yandere! Platonic! Doctor Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik Concept

Darling takes inspiration from him

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Platonic Yandere-like behavior, Manipulation, Internal conflict, Kidnapping, Mentioned emotional abuse, Eggman failing to act like a respectable mentor.

- Due to his strange fixation on you, he can't tell if he hates you or not at first.

- What he KNOWS he hates is that you're friends with Sonic.

- It irritates him that you should technically be his enemy... but he has this fondness towards you he can't shake!

- Just when he thought it couldn't get worse?

- You admire his creations and even attempt to experiment in robotics.

- It strokes his ego... he can't say he hates you now!

- You make him feel so complicated when he meets you-

- You're friends with Sonic, but also somewhat look up to him and his robots.

- Is he supposed to hate or enjoy you?

- "Agh! This is so annoying! Why does that (Y/N) character have to be close to that hedgehog!"

- The more he sees you trying build bots similar to him, however, an idea came to mind.

- While you most likely won't be willing... it'll save him some trouble.

- He'll offer you a deal.

- He'll take you underneath his wing and help you make robots!

- But you can't see the hedgehog.

- He gets it (barely), you're so close to Sonic!

- However, you could help with his plan!

- A world of robots would be so peaceful, don't you agree?

- He'll be the one doing most of the ruling but you'll be beside him, he promises!

- "Do we have a deal? You'll GROW with my teaching!"

- Despite his convincing, you still say no.

- You must be really close with that hedgehog and his friends, huh?

- Eggman is a man who's impulsive, threatening, and selfish.

- If you won't come willingly, then he'll take you forcefully.

- He'll treat you like his prodigy due to your shared love of robotics.

- Maybe even brainstorming ways of how to turn you against Sonic with some manipulation and technology.

- He's usually rather self-centered.

- Yet with you he makes an exception, considering you helpful to his cause.

- Eggman will do whatever he can to bend you to his will, too.

- You take inspiration from him, right?

- Wouldn't you like to make your 'idol' happy and listen to him?

- It's not surprising that Eggman will throw tantrums or be emotionally abusive towards you to get you to follow him.

- He makes everything about him.

- So while he does 'love' you like you're one of his own.

- He can quickly go sour if you don't follow him.

- Pitting you against Sonic will surely break you, won't it?

- Good! Then you'll finally dedicate yourself to the selfish doctor and his teachings...

- Just like he wants you to.

- You'll do it for his attention, love, and care won't you?

- "Listening to me gets you places. Don't even THINK about sneaking out to see that hedgehog, either!"

#yandere sonic the hedgehog #yandere eggman #yandere doctor ivo robotnik #yandere platonic eggman

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wrenreid · 3 years ago

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Conflict of Interest

mature content in this story

Chapter Seventeen: Distance Between

Being back home releases numerous contradictory emotions within you. You love getting to see your older brothers and father again, but being in the house your mother left when you were younger makes you eager for the holidays to be over with.

Your mother sent a Christmas card with a family picture on the front. Your little half sisters are getting much older and bigger. It's strange and difficult to think about your mom raising other kids when she clearly didn't like the way she brought up you and your brothers. You've been told not to hold her accountable for the divorce or for leaving, but you can't abide those orders. You just can't.

Your dad is happy to have you home, he finds a way to make it known he does not like having you across the country in any conversation he can.

"You have your sons," you remind him while the two of you put up the dishes. "They're no less special than I am."

"Maybe not, but they are not my little girl. And their company isn't as pleasant," he chuckles softly.

"Not that I don't agree with you," you smile, "But you'll have to make do with those three knuckle heads."

"For how much longer?" Your father frowns.

"At least until I graduate. But I do want to transfer to the Los Angeles department if possible once I'm in the field."

His features brighten. "That would make me very happy."

"Me too," you say with a soft smile. "I would be able to drive the few hours as often as possible to come see you and the guys."

The unit of the FBI you want to work in is still unclear to you. There's so many amazing options. However, you've decided for at least the first few years, you'll take what you can get. Experience and determination will eventually get you where you want to be.

The holidays pass soon enough, and you enjoy spending quality time with your family for the first time in a while.

"How is training going?" Your eldest brother asks at family dinner the night before New Year's Eve. "I read the FBI's Dr. Reid is teaching a class."

You nearly choke on your mashed potatoes at the mention of Spencer's name. After swallowing, you nod. "Yeah. He teaches the main behavior analysis class."

"I looked him up. He's hot," Quinton's fiancé says with a grin and a subtle, playful wink toward you.

As much as you adore her, a part of you wants to punch Riley's face for making your cheeks turn a bright shade of pink. "I suppose he's not too bad to look at," you shrug. Good thing your brothers don't care too much to talk about your love life, or technically lack there of as they believe it.

You're glad the dinner conversation topic is quickly changed because you do not want to discuss Spencer. Even if he is a constant topic swirling in your mind these days. Being away from him the past nearly two weeks has been making you think of him excessively. You thought being apart would make you lose the feelings that have been developing within you. But the distance between you two has made your chest ache at the thought of him.

Being an expert- almost expert- on human behavior, you believed you could stop the feelings from flooding your being: the feelings of complete adoration and affection for Spencer Reid that is, you refuse to say that overused four letter word. Unfortunately, you know it's impossible. Humans cannot simply stop emotions on command. It takes time. Apparently more than two weeks.

You know what you must do. Pretend pretend pretend. You'll ignore the aching feelings you have for Spencer. You'll pretend you don't feel them no matter how much stronger they may get.

The feelings seemed to have came out of nowhere, but you know that isn't the case. The two of you have spent a great deal of time together. Your feelings of admiration must've morphed and grew with each touch, each smile, each simple gesture of kindness.

You know it would be smart to stop the relationship the two of you have. It'll just make you want him more, and he doesn't see you like that. You made an agreement months ago. The two of you are purely physical and purely friends, if you could call yourselves that. Humans are selfish, though, and you can't let go of him so quickly. Even if you don't have him the way you want, you still have him in some way. That's enough for now. Eventually, you'll move on and find someone else. Or he will. Getting heart broken will be the best way to move on.

After dinner, you convince Caleb and Justin to do the dishes instead of you then head up to the shower. You step in once your clothes are all stripped off and put into the laundry hamper.

The water hits your skin, it's a little too hot, but you don't mind enough to change the temp. Your hair gets soaked, feeling heavier, before you shampoo and conditioner it.

You get along with the rest of your shower routine and your mind flashes back to the many scenarios you've imagined while showering at the academy. Scenarios of Spencer Reid. You hadn't had any unspeakable shower thoughts of him since before the two of you started sleeping together. Now, without permission, images of the two of you together- memories- swirl around in your mind. His hands are on your body, and you can almost physically feel it.

Without even realizing you're doing it, your hands roam your abdomen and up to your chest. You trace your finger tips over your breasts and shoulders, seeing an image of Spencer's mouth on them as you lay there moaning. You run your hands down to your stomach again, breath quickening due to the realisticness of your imagination. You trail your middle finger and pointer finger tips down to your core, head leaning back into the shower wall.

Before you can really get into it, there's banging on the bathroom door. "Y/n, I have to piss, hurry up!" Justin's voice yells, knocking you out of your Spencer- filled pleasure daze.

Your heart slams against your chest, cheeks burning in embarrassment. I'm coming, dammit! You almost yell back, but that would've caused you to die of further embarrassment since there's another meaning of the word. You sigh and call, "Go to the other bathroom!"

You hear him groan, but he leaves. You decide to get out of the shower anyway, not wanting to continue the scene that just happened in the shower anymore.

After wrapping a towel around your body and another in your hair, you go into your childhood bedroom and plop on the bed. You stare up at the ceiling and curse your father for allowing 12 year old you to paint the walls an eye-soring teal color.

You lie there in just a towel for a while, too consumed with your thoughts of Spencer to get up and change.

Your phone chimes, alerting you that you’ve got a text message. You bring your phone to your face and see his name on your screen.

‘Hey! You excited for New Year’s?’

You can’t bring yourself to respond, even though your heart is aching and your mind eager to talk to him.

chapter eighteen

tags: @reidsmilf @reidslovely @awhoreforspencerreid @sexualityisajoke @nomajdetective @kenreadsfanfics @assemblemotherfuckers @calicocatty @reidscake @hotchandspencearedilfs @kodiakwhiskey @rory-cakes @kbakery @reidsprettygirl <3

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patt-writes-stuff · 3 years ago

Text

Beach Days with The Genshin Characters!

Wc: 1.7k+

Type: Headcanons

CW: umm nothing except mentions of alcohol and maybe people being creeps? (None of the chars or you tho it’s very brief)

A/N: HI IM BACK FROM THE DEAD! These were supposed to be a lot shorter but I got too excited. If you by any chance wanna see some for your fav character lmk! I know it says request are closed in my bio but since it’s just hcs it’s a lot less (and I really enjoyed writing these so ajdhdhdk)

🔥Diluc:

This man cannot swim. Tell me otherwise, I dare you.

Kaeya tried to jokingly push him off a lil diving cliff area when they were kids.

He almost drowned. Kaeya was in a lot of trouble.

So, good luck getting this man to actually get in the water. The most he’ll do is sit on the shore where it’s very shallow.

He usually prefers to just stay under an umbrella on the sand and keep an eye on you.

Calls you every two hours in advance and helps you reapply sunscreen.

He’s very pale so I feel like he burns pretty easily, meaning he needs to reapply super frequently otherwise he will become a tomato. He brings like three bottles of the good shit. Tch, rich boy.

If you ask him to build a sandcastle, he will pretend to be annoyed but do it anyways. Ends up finding it kind of enjoyable.

He has the maids prepare a nice picnic basket for the two of you!! It’s got all your favorite foods plus grape juice cuz y’know.

If any creepy peeps approach you, don’t worry. He brought his vision and his claymore.

Of course, he won’t have to resort to such violent lengths. Everyone in Mondstadt knows who Diluc is and they probably know you’re his s/o, so they’re usually smart enough to mind their own business.

If they don’t, don’t worry. Diluc’s glare is more than enough to scare them away.

All in all I definitely recommend a beach day with him! I’ll give it a solid 8/10 (-2 for not wearing floaties and getting in the water with you or letting you teach him how to swim.

🖌Albedo:

You guys definitely 100% take Klee out with you on a beach day.

You guys bring snacks, beach toys like buckets and shovels for optimal sandcastle building, a picnic blanket, etc.

Jean definitely packs a lot more stuff for you guys to take with you than you actually need.

It’s only cuz she’s worried for Klee and is nervous about not being able to go with you guys though! It’s very sweet really.

Klee tries to bomb the fish and cause havoc at the beach 😭

I think Albedo is a good swimmer and gets in with you and Klee so that he can help her (which is very cute omfg)

He’s set total workaholic, as we know, so it took a lot of convincing to get him to put down his experiments and accompany you to the beach (however, he’s particularly weak to yours and klee’s puppy dog eyes so he caved eventually)

Though, looking at you and Klee happily building sandcastles and decorating them with pretty seashells of all shapes and colors, he can’t really find it in himself to complain.

He, of course, takes this opportunity to take out his sketchbook and draw the waves, seagulls, you… Of course he won’t let you see the sketch book no sir. He’s a bit embarrassed to be honest, but an artist such as himself recognizes beauty when he sees it so he simply had to draw you. (God I love him so much)

If a creepy person approaches you,- well don’t worry. The sight of a small arsonist child blowing up fish is enough to scare them away 🥰

At the end of the day, all three of you are all ticketed out. Albedo has to carry Klee back to Mondstadt because the poor baby fell asleep the moment you started drying her hair with the beach towel. You’re, of course, carrying back Dodoco and your bags. (You also manage to sneak a peak at Albedo’s sketchbook and find some very pretty drawings of you and Klee with your sandcastle)

At the end of the day, you guys tuck Klee in and read her a bedtime story (she woke up and insisted). Afterwards Albedo takes you back home and thanks you for coming with you and Klee (which you ofc say wasn’t a problem because how could you not???)

All in all? I’ll give it a solid 10/10. You’ve got tasty food, fun times, your boyfriend and his cute kid adoptive sister (yes I am very biased idc)

🦋Xiao:

I think it would take a lot of convincing to get Xiao to go out on a beach date with you.

He’ll probably see it as a distraction getting in the way of his slaying of monsters and demons.

However, he also worships the grounds you walk on (hehe, simp XD), so I don’t think it’ll take that much convincing on your part (especially because it’s is self appointed duty to keep you safe so if you insist on going with or without him, he supposes he’ll have to go)

Is definitely a bit tense at first. He doesn’t know how to let loose and chill so while you’re sun tanning on a beach chair he’s like 🧍‍♂️ahdgshjsjd

Eventually calms down a bit though! You get him to relax and eat some almond tofu you brought along with you. It definitely gets him to perk up.

I don’t think he would mind getting into the water but I do think he’d rather walk along the shore and collect pretty seashells and sea glass.

He later gives the ones he deems pretties to you (he hands them over to you with a blush on his face and pretends it’s not a big deal and he definitely gets all pouty and grouchy when you coo at how adorable he is)

As for creeps, Xiao is both intimidating and well known in Liyue. No one is brave enough (or, let’s be honest, dumb enough) to approach you with any bad intentions.

Sure, Xiao has sworn never to harm a human/citizen of Liyue but that doesn’t mean he can’t scare the absolute shit out of them.

I think Xiao would definitely enjoy a beach day 🥺🥺. He’d find it very relaxing to go out with you and just hear the sound of waves and feel the sand under his feet.

He’d definitely hint at wanting to do it again later. Of course, he won’t tell you. No, that’s a foolish mortal activity and he has much better things to do.

Wait no, don't turn around, yes he will go with you next month.

All in all, I give Xiao a 9/10. It’s a very relaxing day (which he deserves 😤). And you get to see a whole new side of him.

💎Ningguang:

OK SO ORIGINALLY I WASN'T GONNA WRITE ONE FOR HER (at least not in this post) BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF LADY NINGGUANG TAKING YOU TO A WHOLE ASS PRIVATE BEACH

She knows you don’t care about how exclusive the beach you go to is (in fact, the fact that you don’t care about where you are or what you do is one of the things that make her fall more and more madly in love with you) but you deserve the best so she’s gonna go all out.

She’s a busy lady so days like this where the two of you get to go somewhere and be together are few and far between.

She knows it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who is busy 24/7, so she appreciates how you remain by her side despite all hardships. (Y’all are a whole ass power couple istg)

The two of you spend your day relaxing. Sun bathing, drinking piña coladas, maybe taking a dip in the ocean. It’s all very pleasant!

Ningguang doesn’t quite feel like the type of person who would sit in the sand and make sandcastle, however you’re more than welcome to make some yourself. She finds it endearing <3

If you insist on her helping, she’ll eventually comply. She loves you too much to say no. I feel like she’ll either be terrible at it or like a total architect.

Sand is technically like tiny rocks right? So maybe she can use her vision to help her? If that’s the case, she’s making a replica of the Jade chamber out of sand.

If any creepy person comes up to you don’t worry. Ningguang will buy the whole beach and then use her right of admission as owner to permanently ban them from the beach you’re at.

The only downside to a day at the beach with Ningguang might be that there’s a big chance she’ll be called to tend urgent matters, seeing as she is the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing and all.

If that does happen, she’ll be sure to make it up to you somehow, whether it be rescheduling or taking care of the matter as soon as possible so that the two of you can get back to your day of relaxation and fun.

All in all?? Lady Ningguang will treat you like total royalty and the two of you will have an amazing time! I give her an 11/10 (she would literally buy a whole beach for you to be comfortable I mean c’mon)

🍃Venti:

BEACH DAYS WITH HIM ARE SO FUN!!

Swimming? Yeah, he’d love to! Sunbathing? Sure! He’ll ever conjure up a light breeze for the two of you. Sandcastle building? WELL OF COURSE WHY DO YOU THING HE BROUGHT ALL THESE BUCKETS AND SHOVELS?

No but seriously, he might be the best person out of everyone here to go to the beach with. He’s fun, free spirited, and he’s a traveling bard who’s been alive long enough to know where all the best beaches in Teyvat are. (He also knows a guy- er, well, dragon I suppose- who is willing to fly them to any place).

He’ll play some soft tunes while you doze under the sun.

HE PICKS PRETTY SHELLS AND GIFTS THEM TO YOU!!!

He will bring booze. I’m pretty sure this is a necessity. If you’re a little upset about it, he’ll probably “eheh~” his way out of it. That slick bastard.

If you really insist on him not drinking, he won’t consume much alcohol.

If some creepy person approaches you and tries to ruin you your day of beach time fun, all of their stuff will suddenly be blown away, causing them to scramble back to their spot and (almost embarrassingly) flail around trying to catch everything. What a shame…

At the end of the day, he’d be a little sad to leave. Definitely makes plans about tbe two of you going back soon.

I gotta give him a 10/10 he’s just so fun omg.

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